Tips for Dating Mixed Race Women

My skin is yellow, My hair is long, between two worlds I do belong.

I understand there may be folks out there who have difficulty dating women in general…

But,

Here are tips for dating mixed race women.

 

Tip One:

Know that every mixed race experience is different.

With various colors and backgrounds in this garden salad of a world people still refuse to have a taste of, this is only one experience of one with

Black, white, and indigenous descent.

Your generationally mixed black girl.

 

Tip Two:

Let it be know that you are the only designated person

Allowed to touch my hair.

It has taken a while to let these roots grow proudly

After many either wanting them straight,

Or wanting to touch them with their non-gardening fingers.

 

Tip Three:

We will not be discussing, “Which race I prefer dating”

“Do I like white guys?”

“Do I like black guys?”

That’s not cute.

And it often leads into the discussion of “Which race would I choose if I had to”

I can’t just flip the coin when both sides are better than one.

 

My skin is yellow, My hair is long, between two worlds I do belong.

 

Tip Four:

Don’t expect me not to question our relationship when you turn our attraction

Into a fetish.

A speculation of being “So exotic!”

“Such an exotic beauty” to take advantage of.

I am worth more than your conspicuous ambiguity

 

Tip Five:

Letting your tongue trip into,

“I’m not racist…but”

Proves you’re not worth my time.

You’re supposed to be proof of the clock moving forward, not backward.

 

Tip Six:

Yeah…my family is super duper colorful…

You can stop staring now.

 

My skin is yellow, My hair is long, between two worlds I do belong.

 

Tip Seven:

Talk to me.

 

Tip Eight:

Talk to me.

 

Tip Nine:

Just talk to me.

Ask me what growing up was like.

Ask me how the events in Baltimore,

Charleston,

Ferguson,

St. Paul,

Charlotte,

Charlottesville,

Lewiston,

Portland,

And more affected me.

Ask me about the privileges

And lack of privileges

Running through my veins being poured out into my everyday life.

 

Tip Ten:

Know that I know that you’re not perfect.

Know that I know that no one is perfect.

But lack of perfection does not excuse you from the act of trying.

You should know by now after going through this list

That I am worth a lot more

Than your lack of effort.

 

~Maya Williams (AIR Artistic Guest)